May 26, 2010

Read it and Weep!

Those are the words that come to mind when I think about my accomplishments. This past week was a week of celebrating. Definitely a catch-22, as you want to celebrate achieving such a great weight loss and reaching your goal, but what does "celebrating" mean to me now?? Before it meant chowing down on taco bell or some type of Mexican food and then drinking heavily. :) :) hahah. But now what does it mean?? I really had to think about this. I WANT to celebrate.. but I DON'T want to fall back into old habits. The thought of that is scary. So I just ate like I am SUPPOSED to, had a few drinks on the weekend, but ultimately just spread the news of my accomplishments and of course BOUGHT A NEW DRESS, size SMALL:) ( I didn't say my shopping addiction had been cured hahaha.) 

So this week I went onto short term maintenance. This means slowly adding more calories in and adding starches back into my diet. Yes, the whole week I had mild panic attacks just thinking of the thought of adding starches back into my diet. I like the way I am eating now! jeez why do I have to change I know this works waaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaaa some one call the WAAAAAAAMBULANCE. What if I eat too much and I gain weight? What if I fall back to my old habits? What if? What if? What if? ... OK CARRIE I GET IT.. ZIP IT. This was my inner dialouge all week long. Finally, yesterday rolls around, and it was time to sit myself down and really think about why I was freaking out so badly. Clearly, the nutrionist KNOWS what she is doing, and I clearly have made a commitment to myself. I suppose for me being a crazy yo - yo dieter as long as I can remember it seems that the weight can just instantly come back, and it is SCARY. But this time is different. I have taken control of food, its not in control of me. I think all the concerns I have are valid and do need to be there in the BACK of my mind to keep me in check, but they don't need to OVERWHELM my thoughts like they had been doing this week. I have shown I can do it and WILL keep on continuing to do it.

Now its Wednesday, and of course even after my pep talk to myself, I am nervous for the weigh in this morning. So I step on the scale... 130. OK, ok! yes they know what they are doing, its all going to be ok. I find out I have actually lost 2 more pounds of fat bringing me down to 23% fat heck yes. For this upcoming week calories have been up-ed a little more which STILL makes me nervous but I am more trusting. Trust the process Carrie! So I look into this week confidently, knowing I don't need to freak out when I have a starch, it is healthy, and I will do great.

I like all people with food problems know I will still have struggles from time to time. For me more mental than anything. But I have the tools to take these struggles, acknowledge them and put them aside. Nothing is stopping me. This is just the beginning of the rest of my life, this is NOT the finish line.

May 19, 2010


On sunday, as I sit on the plane ride home from a crazy weekend of visiting with friends and enjoying a bachelorette party and bridal shower, I look down and see one of those awesome airplane magazines. I look closer and on the front cover (actual title of magazine) it says " there is nothing stopping you... GO." On a plane out of nowhere this statement resonates with in me. It is a short to the point statement. Nothing fancy ... there is nothing stopping YOU.. go. It causes me to reflect on my journey of overcoming weight. The only thing stopping me was myself. It seems we create excuse after excuse on why we can't do something. Only you and yourself alone can break through these excuses and move forward. If we put our minds to it we can do anything.. and we DESERVE to be able to do anything we want!!! It is not easy by any means and usually takes some type of wake up call.. mine being seeing pictures of myself and barely fitting into my fat clothes hahaha.  But I really think this statement is going to be something I hold close to me. There is nothing stopping you... GO. Its empowering.

So this leads me to today... I definitely woke up late and needed to get to my Medi appt. at 8 am. After a crazy week I wasn't sure what kind of number I was going to pull. Knowing I tried my hardest to stay on course with a little indulgence here and there I walked into the clinic holding my head high. So time to step on the scale......................................................................130. WHAT????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With may I add a 2.5 fat loss and down from 36 inch waist to a 27 inch waist... Again there is NOTHING STOPPING ME.. I can do and go anywhere I want.  I finally reached my goal. It feels amazing. No this is not the finish line for me by any means. It is just the beginning of working toward a life of health, well - being, happiness, and confidence. I KNOW I can achieve whatever I want. Its not just about the weight its about overcoming a lot of things over a while, and seeing benefits I never could have imagined.

I know the task seems sooo daunting when you are starting out. But is just takes the first step.. going day by day... it doesn't happen overnight... but before you know it you will be there. Failing will happen it just depends what you do and how you handle it when you hit a bump in the road. Believe in yourself and you can make great things happen.


May 3, 2010

Stepping out of your COMFORT ZONE

So as most of us know in life we are all about comfort. And for me and many others Food brings us comfort, thats how we get to all of a sudden be where we dont want to be! We turn to what brings us comfort. Well this weekend I confidently broke through my comfort zone.

It was Derek and I's one and a half year anniversary and he has been bound and determined to take me to get sushi. I have been very resistant seeing as I really don't like fish. Well we went. And I confidently tried sushi. I did not freak out or get nervous before putting the first piece in my mouth. I ate with confidence. And guess what... I loved it. It was soo good! (a little chewy) but it was really delicious. Its so funny the fears we have in our heads and when we tackle them.. hey it isnt that bad and we actually might end up enjoying it!

So for comfort zone number two, this is a biggy. (Yes even bigger than eating sushi!!!). So I feel like every girl / woman I know loves to pick apart her own body. I have things I love and things I hate! well my mid section is definitely a part of me I am not so fond of. I could pick apart every thing I don't like for a few paragraphs but will spare you. :) Anyways I decided it was time to celebrate how far I have come and tell my body thank you for cooperating and getting me to where I am at. So I did the unthinkable! (for me at least). I went out in public with a cute sports bra and work out pants.. NO SHIRT to cover up my tummy. I walked 5 miles all over town to show off my hard work. NO its not perfect and YES I wish it was more toned here, here, here and there. But its time to embrace my accomplishment and love my midsection! I did get stares and beeps on my walk whether good or bad I was making a statement for myself. It was liberating and a great confidence boost!!! I think everyone should step out of their comfort zone every once in a while.. Amazing things may happen!

And to top all of it off.. I weighed in today.... and 132.4 I will take it! So close to goal. I have no expectations and will keep working hard. I am just SO HAPPY!!!