Focused.

So I weighed in on Wed. morning. I really wasn't too worried about it or stressing like I occasionally do. I know I DID indulge this past saturday (aka a lot of Champagne and beer, yes this is a picture of me OVER INDULGING! hahaahah sometimes you need to let loose) but worked hard the rest of the week and stuck to the plan. I have so much energy and feel sooo great! Well I weighed in at 130 yes sad face for a second. So I gained a pound BUT I lost a pound of fat annnnd my water was up along with my fat free mass aka more muscles :) And for once with gaining a pound, which is mainly due to water, I don't feel defeated and am VERY happy. Many times before this weighing in at Medi, I would get down on myself for being up a pound even if it was due to water weight. But today I am ok with it! I know I am doing what I need to do, my body is looking fantastic, and I am very focused and HAPPY.  I am currently 130 pounds with 30 pounds of fat on me and 100 pounds of Fat free mass.. ummm that is pretty darn good! woo hoo. It almost looks like I know what I am doing when I go to the gym hahah.

Being on short term maintenance and adding (now) two starches during the day it has definitely up-ed my energy and I can perform much better when it comes to my workouts. I feel more driven and feel like I can do a lot more. Yesterday in Spin I pushed it very hard and to another level, and never have sweat so much! It was a great feeling. My new goal really is to tone up. (Arms and stomach mainly). I will continue to focus and keep my eye on the prize. I KNOW I am doing everything I possibly can and am so proud! Nothing is standing in my way. I am making a commitment for June to workout 4-5 times a week and vary the works out as to keep muscle confusion going.


Food Spotlight

For those of you adding starches back in or who are on a regular diet and looking for a VERY healthy grain/starch to eat. I recommend Ezekial bread products. They contain no gluten or flour. The english muffins are especially tasty. Per serving they are 80 calories which is exactly what my medi short term plan calls for. They give me incredible energy and I love it! Currently I have a 1/2 of a whole wheat english muffin from ezekial and for lunch I have one slice of the whole wheat bread 4:9 Ezekial. Ezekial products can definitely be found at Harris Teeter in the frozen section, and most likely at any whole foods store in the frozen section.

MIRROR.


I look in the mirror these days and wonder who the heck is staring back at me. This friday I was at the gym lifting weights (please say that in your head like arnold swarz. would say, I love Arnold impressions) and I am looking in the mirror to make sure I have correct form. During these reps you really have to focus and reflect. After the third rep, I look around and then really take a look at myself and think WHO IS THIS>???? I would have never imagined I could come so far. If you would have asked me in January or even February to "lift weights" at the Dowd YMCA with all the people who look good and "know" what they are doing, I would of laughed at you and said YEA RIGHT. I definitely hardly recognize my body. With the commitments I have made to Medi Weightloss and going to YMCA classes 4-5 days a week I have transformed my figure, mind, confidence, you name it, its blossomed.

So this week I weighed in on thursday, as I wanted to move the weigh-in later into the week, after having a large memorial day party and knowing I over indulged. So I step on the scale expecting to be up a pound. BUT I get on the scale and ..... 129. REALLY 129! I can't believe it. Never in my wildest dreams could I ever imagine to be in the 120's. I am 5'2 so its fitting but still I thought it was just "not for me." You know the usual excuses "I'm big boned" "I have more muscle than most" if you have struggled with weight you know the sayings to make yourself believe there is a reason you aren't a certain weight. Well I am here to tell you you can do it. I set my goal at 130 thinking that was ridiculous but I broke into the 120's. Its just another amazing surprise and accomplishment I thought was NEVER possible.

I think what has helped me most is truly believing in the process. Being confident that it is going to work and not stressing or worrying that for some reason it isn't going to work. I really think we all have self-fufilling prophecies. If you are worried or think you aren't going to do well then there is a good chance you won't do as well as you should have. But if you truly believe, even visualize the process you will achieve what you want. Clearly not saying this works all the time. I have my weeks where I am negative nelly but I do think the more positive you stay and focus on all the great things you have achieved you will / can expedite your results.


Food Spotlight
OK so I am going to start having tips that get me through the week. This week I will suggest greek yogurt. Google it, whatever you want. It has great benefits. Double the protein. Just a really good thing to eat. Very filling. I love it. I have either Chobani vanilla or Oikos by Stoneyfield vanilla 110 calories.  I eat one of these every day and it is a GREAT source of protein.

Read it and Weep!

Those are the words that come to mind when I think about my accomplishments. This past week was a week of celebrating. Definitely a catch-22, as you want to celebrate achieving such a great weight loss and reaching your goal, but what does "celebrating" mean to me now?? Before it meant chowing down on taco bell or some type of Mexican food and then drinking heavily. :) :) hahah. But now what does it mean?? I really had to think about this. I WANT to celebrate.. but I DON'T want to fall back into old habits. The thought of that is scary. So I just ate like I am SUPPOSED to, had a few drinks on the weekend, but ultimately just spread the news of my accomplishments and of course BOUGHT A NEW DRESS, size SMALL:) ( I didn't say my shopping addiction had been cured hahaha.) 

So this week I went onto short term maintenance. This means slowly adding more calories in and adding starches back into my diet. Yes, the whole week I had mild panic attacks just thinking of the thought of adding starches back into my diet. I like the way I am eating now! jeez why do I have to change I know this works waaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaaa some one call the WAAAAAAAMBULANCE. What if I eat too much and I gain weight? What if I fall back to my old habits? What if? What if? What if? ... OK CARRIE I GET IT.. ZIP IT. This was my inner dialouge all week long. Finally, yesterday rolls around, and it was time to sit myself down and really think about why I was freaking out so badly. Clearly, the nutrionist KNOWS what she is doing, and I clearly have made a commitment to myself. I suppose for me being a crazy yo - yo dieter as long as I can remember it seems that the weight can just instantly come back, and it is SCARY. But this time is different. I have taken control of food, its not in control of me. I think all the concerns I have are valid and do need to be there in the BACK of my mind to keep me in check, but they don't need to OVERWHELM my thoughts like they had been doing this week. I have shown I can do it and WILL keep on continuing to do it.

Now its Wednesday, and of course even after my pep talk to myself, I am nervous for the weigh in this morning. So I step on the scale... 130. OK, ok! yes they know what they are doing, its all going to be ok. I find out I have actually lost 2 more pounds of fat bringing me down to 23% fat heck yes. For this upcoming week calories have been up-ed a little more which STILL makes me nervous but I am more trusting. Trust the process Carrie! So I look into this week confidently, knowing I don't need to freak out when I have a starch, it is healthy, and I will do great.

I like all people with food problems know I will still have struggles from time to time. For me more mental than anything. But I have the tools to take these struggles, acknowledge them and put them aside. Nothing is stopping me. This is just the beginning of the rest of my life, this is NOT the finish line.